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Inside Knowledge

May 29, 2018

Show Notes – Colton

Personal definition of resilience – get back up and see that there is always a positive even when everything around you is negative.  It is not what knocks you down but how you respond to it is what resilience is.

Did not have a stable home life.  His parents weren’t in great situations themselves.  His Mum was a high school drop out.  His Dad was a trucker so he wasn’t always around.  He wasn’t good at making child support payments.  Constant arguments.

His step father didn’t know how to raise children.  He was very demanding and hard on him.  He taught him how to work hard but when they lived together he couldn’t stand it.  He tried to find solace with his Dad but he was never really around.

Around this time he started to get really depressed.  His father remarried and dropped out of his life for the next six years.

He completely stopped doing all school work entirely.  He had this expectation that nobody really expected anything of him.  He felt that no body enjoyed his presence.  He thought he would die by the time he was 25.

Music, video games and some very solid friends got him through this difficult period.

He was bullied at school and the subject to untrue rumours.

Became an alcoholic. 

His grandfather on his Mum’s side drank himself to death before the age of 65.  Partied really hard and tried a few different drugs.  He did a lot of stupid things.  Drank himself into the hospital in three different occasions.  He never wanted to experience that again so he decided to try and stop that.

His only claim to any popularity in grade school was that he could pay the guitar.  It was the one thing they loved about him.  In high school he joined bands that helped him get through tough times.

After he had his accident he decided he wanted to go on tour with his band.  He decided to chase his dreams rather than to keep living in a hole.

Once he developed PTSD he only saw a counsellor three times. 

Nine months later he admitted that he wasn’t doing very well.  His relationship broke down just as they were about to move in together. 

He was put on antidepressants but he had a bad reaction to them.  His doctor told him he had to man up and power through it.  He changed his doctor and got referred to another counsellor. 

She started making the different for him.  Anxieties from his childhood had been amplified by the accident.  He was 25 at this time when he realised he had been depressed for the last 12 years and had never actually dealt with it. 

Developed coping mechanisms.  He learned to meditate.  He learned to focus in what he could do to solve his problems rather than on the things he could not control. 

Meditation and reading are two tools that he uses to maintain his resilience.

He begins his meditation by analyses he day and his behaviours.  Then he practices mindfulness and concentrates on his breathing. 

He started to use his dog as a way to continue building himself and his positivity.  He has to get up and out of bed to meet his dog’s needs.  He has become his best friend.  He is his rock.

Also relies in the support of his friends. 

Talks about his aims for starting his podcast Desert Tiger.

Talks about the episode in which he talked about mental health.  He had a very positive response.